I was certain that I had setup a direct debit and so wasn’t sure why there would have been a charge. Either way I felt that I had kept my account in good order so could sweet talk my way into getting the charge reversed.
So I phoned the card issuer and the call went something like this.
Automated voice: Be warned that we may be recording this call for monitoring or “training” purposes.
Automated voice: Please enter your 16 digit card number followed by the pound key.
Me: tap, tap, tappety, tap. (at this point I press the hash key because my phone doesn’t have a £ key on it)
Automated voice: thank you, transferring you to a real person.
Humanoid: Morning, welcome to xxxxxx bank, can I have your 16 digit card number please?
Me: What the one I laboriously typed into my keypad not ten seconds ago?
Me: (very loud sigh) Well that system works well then doesn’t it?!
At this point I realise all chance of me regaining my £12 is all but gone but I soldier on anyway.
Humanoid: Can I just take you through security? Can I have your full name, address, favourite my little pony and inside leg measurement.
Me: <secret details>
Humanoid: Thank you, you have passed security
At this point I was expecting “How may I assist you today?” what I actually got was:
Humanoid: You are over your credit limit.
I was a little pissed off at this somewhat direct statement and the £12 was now clearly gone forever.
Me: I’m sorry, I thought that I called you?
Humanoid: (awkward silence)
Me: (annoyed, slightly agressive, silence)
The remainder of the conversation established that, no, I hadn’t set up a direct debit, yes, I was going to bring my account back into credit and, no, I wasn’t going to see my £12 again.
If only he hadn’t asked me to repeat my card number that I had just typed in we could have got on so much better!