A Fool and His Money

iStock_000020861023XXXLargeLooking through my credit card statement this week I noticed that there was a £12 charge on there for late payment.

I was certain that I had setup a direct debit and so wasn’t sure why there would have been a charge. Either way I felt that I had kept my account in good order so could sweet talk my way into getting the charge reversed.

So I phoned the card issuer and the call went something like this.


Ring, ring!

Automated voice: Be warned that we may be recording this call for monitoring or “training” purposes.

Automated voice: Please enter your 16 digit card number followed by the pound key.

Me: tap, tap, tappety, tap. (at this point I press the hash key because my phone doesn’t have a £ key on it)

Automated voice: thank you, transferring you to a real person.

Humanoid: Morning, welcome to xxxxxx bank, can I have your 16 digit card number please?

Me: What the one I laboriously typed into my keypad not ten seconds ago?

Humanoid: Yes

Me: (very loud sigh) Well that system works well then doesn’t it?!

At this point I realise all chance of me regaining my £12 is all but gone but I soldier on anyway.

Humanoid: Can I just take you through security? Can I have your full name, address, favourite my little pony and inside leg measurement.

Me: <secret details>

Humanoid: Thank you, you have passed security

At this point I was expecting “How may I assist you today?” what I actually got was:

Humanoid: You are over your credit limit.

I was a little pissed off at this somewhat direct statement and the £12 was now clearly gone forever.

Me: I’m sorry, I thought that I called you?

Humanoid: (awkward silence)

Me: (annoyed, slightly agressive, silence)

The remainder of the conversation established that, no, I hadn’t set up a direct debit, yes, I was going to bring my account back into credit and, no, I wasn’t going to see my £12 again.

If only he hadn’t asked me to repeat my card number that I had just typed in we could have got on so much better!